It was all worked out. The miles would work if I pushed myself ever-so-many per day. I would still make it. This would still be a win!
And then one of those names walked through my door late at night in need of refuge. Suddenly the need changed. Suddenly the goal changed.
As we sat in conversation the next day, and as I realized it would be a long one, I caught myself aware of the time ticking away. My to-do list for the day included 10 miles and working on my book proposal. I had a goal, and life swooped in and refocused my heart, reminding me that walking for victims and writing for victims is pointless when a victim is sitting right here in front of me, in need, in pain.
Later, I did walk some, but it wasn’t 10 miles. And I knew as I walked that this journey had taken me right to the heart of the issue, right to becoming a place of safety and love. It was never about how far I could walk each day but rather how open my heart could be, and how much I could open the eyes and hearts of others.
Despite my bravado less than 2 weeks ago that I WOULD make it to 1,000 miles by the end of the year, this past week has reminded me of what’s most important. I could brush aside someone in need to get my miles done, to stay on track, or I could have conversation and listen and be that person I ask each of you to be to others.
I chose to let the miles go. I chose to sit for hours and dig away at my own wounds in the very worst week* that I could be faced with someone else’s pain, and I chose to love instead of walk.
One day, I will reach 1,000 miles. But it won’t be by December 31, 2014. It will be as it is, as it so happens. In the meantime, I can still do hard things, because when you open yourself to walk alongside someone else who is in the middle of pain, that’s exactly it. But it’s also the most beautiful thing, the greatest walk you can ever make.
*My life began again 17 years ago this week.
[bluebox]DID YOU KNOW?
MYTH #3: Child abuse doesn’t happen in “good” families.
Fact: Child abuse doesn’t only happen in poor families or bad neighborhoods. It crosses all racial, economic, and cultural lines. Sometimes, families who seem to have it all from the outside are hiding a different story behind closed doors.
Read more: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect.htm[/bluebox]