To the untrained eye, I appear to be obsessed with walking. Neighbors notice me take off several times each day now, versus the previous once, maybe twice a day. It’s December 3 and I still have over 200 miles to go before the year ends. Some have suggested that I should give myself a break, and I’ve entertained that idea. So what if I don’t make it to 1,000 after all. So what if the goal isn’t met. The journey has been what’s really important.
That’s true. So very true.
But it’s not enough. Almost doesn’t cut it here, not this time. I can accept and move on from many things without reaching my original goal. “Close enough” often satisfies me. But not this time.
This means something to me. Something huge. I knew it would be hard. I knew I was biting off a tad more than I could chew. I knew life is busy and some days I would feel too horrible to even say the word “walk.” And yet, I pushed on. I knew I fell behind months ago. And yet, I pushed on. I know as I stare down just 29 walking days left that I COULD fail. And yet, I push on.
If I don’t make it, the world will not end.
If I don’t make it, I’ll get over the disappointment.
If I don’t make it, I’ll keep going.
But the question really isn’t, “What if you don’t make it?”
The question is: “What if you DO?”
That’s what drives me. The very idea that each mile means something, and reaching 1,000 in the year I set to do so opens the door to more conversation.
“You walked 1,000 miles in one year? Why?”
Yes, let’s talk about that!
Recently, someone reached out to me to give me an update. I walked for her daughter in the summer, and she wanted me to know how much better things were. My heart swelled with this news, not because I think my walking changed her life but rather because this girl’s mother wasn’t alone. She and I made a connection, even if ever so briefly, while she is on a journey. For just a little bit of time, I was walking with her, not just for her daughter. That means everything to me. Everything.
I will reach 1,000 by the end of the year. It seems impossible and crazy. But I kind of thrive on impossible and crazy ideas. And surviving and healing from a painful, abusive present or past can seem impossible, but I know that too can happen. So, onward.
We can do hard things!