Did you know that you can just say you won’t be bothered by your past anymore and just like that, you’ll snap out of the pain?
Also, you can decide one day to start running and immediately complete a marathon.
OK, neither one of those statements is true and yet we push ourselves to make such miracles happen. Or we listen to others who tell us to just get over it and move on. (Or get off that couch and get in shape!) The truth is, everything has to happen in small steps, in manageable bites.
This morning, I walked/ran five miles. I’m very proud of that. But the thing is, I started really pushing myself to walk and run at the start of the year. It has taken me 10 months to reach a point where I can manage four to five miles at one time. I’m not overweight, but my body was still out of shape, so it was still just as hard to reach this point.
On almost every outing, I come to this fork in the road —
This is one of those moments where I am less than a mile from home. If I go straight, I can end the workout session. If I turn right, I will continue on for approximately another mile in the opposite direction.
Let me be honest: I often just want to go straight. I want to call it a day, be content with the couple of miles I already have, not push on. But I turn right anyway. Even though I’ve just come to the end of another running sprint and my legs are jelly and my lungs are working harder to pull in air, I still turn right. I still push on.
Healing from my past has been very similar for me. The only thing that is different is, for too many years, when things got too tough, when the pain was at its worst and my heart couldn’t handle any more, when my lungs gasped for breath as another panic attack hit, I would return home. I wouldn’t push on through the pain. I’d cower away, content that I kinda sorta maybe did not really try, but IT’S HARD! I’d take those three steps forward, but then I’d run three dozen backwards. I had it in my head that I had to make the leap from broken to healed, all in one step.
That’s just unrealistic.
Healing, like walking a long distance, only happens one step at a time. Today, why not decide on one step you can take to work toward a better you. And when you come to the fork in the road, don’t run home. Instead, push on. Lean into what is hard and push through that wall. Healing won’t happen overnight, but if you consistently push, it WILL happen.